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"But where do you go to my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
Won't you tell me the thoughts that surround you I want to look inside your head, yes I do." #songlyrics #eventide_love  #lostinlove #mindlessbehavior #mindgames #mystory #amwriting #psychologicalthriller based around #emotionalabuse  #follownow #Blog bio link in bio. #ireland🇮🇪 #bookblogger a Psychological Thriller based around emotional abuse; -
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"I kissed him like he was my God, and I his protector. I kissed him with a desperate, dark wildness. I kissed him hard with my tongue, my teeth in utter abandonment. A storm built in both of us as he laid siege to my desire, his hands sliding down my body, clasping my ass, entering me with a savage drive. At that moment we became lost in our universe as two uncomplicated fucking beasts. In that flash instant, he intoxicated me in a frenzied desire for his sheer physical strength, for his passion, for his stimulation, my life fueled by his breath. I convulsed from the savagery of his kisses, his fucking, penetrating with callous intent and right then I knew I could never be without this man in my life. My intellect captured, frenzied lust exploding as he pummelled me I clung on fucking him as if my life depended on it. It was that one fuck." #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller #amwriting #mystory #writingismyfreedom #writinglife #badlove #psyco #thrillerbooks Pain of a Silent Cry  #eventide_love Psychological Thriller- follow link for the story. . "I am struggling to surface from a limited perspective of my one-dimensional life with Chris. My life is falling apart; I am fading like a dying bulb into darkness. I am terrified of the future without Chris but even more terrified of my life with him." #psychologicalthriller #emotionalabuse #mystory #writinglife #thrillerbooks #amwriting #writingmystory #readers #artwork_artist #peterallert #saatchiartist #livewithart #artcollector Shades of Danger & Adventure - sums up life in emotional abuse. "There were many shades in the danger of adventures and gales, most of which were exhilarating and golden. It is only now and then that there appears on the face of facts a sinister violence of intention- that indefinable something which forces it upon the mind and the heart." "I could see no images only shades of light
I spread my arms out over the abyss

my heart’s rhythm was so slow
there was no need to inhale
my soul on the edge of the abyss
strands of obscure light from the heart of the earth
reached out and attached to my skin hugging me
I embraced the powerful draw of the abyss
the light fading and dying, I looked up and saw you." "Most victims keep their abusers secrets; they count on that, knowing exposing them exposes our failings. Telling about what happened to you is a powerful healing force that can dispel the shame of being a victim. Remember; the perversion belongs to the perpetrator and so does the shame." I write Emotional Abuse as a Psychological Thriller. #amwriting #truestory💯 #psychologicalabuse #mentalabuse #eventide_love #ireland🍀 #alfredhitchcock #davidlynch #amwritingfiction #bloglife

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The Nearest Thing to Crazy; Gaslighting

by SalmaRU Deviant Art

by SalmaRU Deviant Art

Gaslighting is the systematic attempt by one person to erode another’s reality, by telling them that what they are experiencing isn’t so – and, the gradual giving up on the part of the other person. Gaslighting takes two – one person who needs to be in control to maintain his sense of self, and the other, who needs the relationship to maintain her sense of self and is willing to acquiesce. The Gaslight Effect happens when you find yourself second guessing your own reality, confused and uncertain of what you think, because you have allowed another to define reality and tell you what you think — and who you are. Gaslighting can be maddening in the early stages and soul destroying when it fully takes hold. In her book The Gaslight Effect   describes what it is like to be on the receiving end of this type of emotional abuse – in love relationships, in the workplace, in family…and, then, she take readers through the steps necessary to empower themselves to transform the relationship and opt out of the Gaslight Tango. The Gaslight Effect names this insidious type of emotional abuse, that has, to date, been too much under the radar – and, in naming and understanding this abuse, it can be recognized and healed.

Speaking to MailOnline, author Elizabeth Forbes Author of ‘The Nearest Thing to Crazy’ says the image of a weak victim is entirely wrong for gaslighting: “The women I’ve talked to who have experienced gaslighting abuse are often strong, intelligent women.”

‘It is almost as if their developed sense of rationality acts as a conduit for the abuse to flourish. One judges other people’s behaviour by the standards we set for ourselves, and if we wouldn’t lie about such things, if we would consider such manipulation to be devious and immoral, we find it difficult to believe that others could behave in such a way, especially those who profess to love us.’

While it might be easy to advise reaching out to others to help the person reassert their worth, and confirm that they are not irrational and that it is their partner who is behaving badly, this is not always easy. 

Forbes explains: ‘When one’s sanity is questioned to the extent that one begins to believe it might be crumbling, talking to friends can also be a terrifying option. 

‘What if they confirm our neuroses, albeit in a clumsily well-meaning way that they imagine will make us feel better? ‘I’m sure he wouldn’t do that. 

It’s obvious how much he loves you.’ Or the oft quoted response: .. all men are the same. Just ignore it.’ 

‘And once more the victim’s view of herself as irrational and neurotic is confirmed.’

Psychologist and relationship expert Susan Quilliam says: ‘Gaslighting usually happens when one partner feels threatened or wrong footed in their life for some reason’

It may not be deliberate or conscious, but their realty becomes more important than their partners.It is a type of bullying and the longer it goes on the more they buy into the partner’s reality and lose their own.’

‘What keeps it going is silence on behalf of the partner being bullied. My advice for anyone in this situation would be to seek someone objective to talk to about it, then speak to your partner about it, preferably with evidence of their behaviours.’

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In The Gaslight Effect, Stern encourages women to be fearless about their right to be treated well, to be fearless about insisting on their own point of view, to be fearless about carving out their lives, with their values. ‘When you are fearless, you are empowered and you can heal or opt out of gaslighting or any other destructive relationship dynamic.’

Meet the Author – On The Edge.