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“At that very first kiss I felt something melt inside me that hurt in an ethereal way. All my longings, all my dreams and sweet anguish, all the secrets that slept deep within my soul came awake. I felt the narcotic sensuality of Maryvn Gaye’s lyrics playing inside my heart in perfect harmony with life.” #eventide_love #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller : : #amwriting #mystory #psychologicalabuse #creativewriting #hitchcock #davidlynch #relationshipsgoals #badlove #marvyngaye #myquote #publishing #metoo #metoomovement #womenempowerment #ireland🍀
“There were many shades in the danger of adventures and gales, most of which were exhilarating and golden. It is only now and then that there appears on the face of facts a sinister violence of intention- that indefinable something which forces it upon the mind and the heart. It is this complication of incidents, or these elemental furies coming at me with a purpose of malice, with a strength beyond control, with an unbridled cruelty. And this means it tears out my hope and passion. MY pain of fatigue and longing for rest targets destruction, annihilates all I can see, known, loved, enjoyed, or hated; all that is priceless and necessary- the sunshine, the memories, the future. My precious world as I knew it sweeps utterly away from my sight, further and further as each day goes by, it’s simply an appalling act of losing my life.” #eventide_love : :: #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller #artwork🎨 @darren_crowley : : #amwriting #mystory #psychologicalthriller #hitchcock #publishing #psychological #womensaid #lovindublin #blogtobook #lifeblogger #davidlynch #reesewitherspoonbookclub #womenempowerment #emotionalrollercoaster
“As my life unraveled from my relationship with Paul, I wanted people to see the abuse, to believe it, to have faith in me. And more than that, I wanted them to know me. Not the stuff they thought they knew about me. No, the real me. I wanted them to get past the rumors, to see beyond the exposer of the relationship. I needed them to understand the devastation, to cushion the fall without preconception. What I didn't know at that stage is that when Paul messed with my life, he was not messing with one part of my life, he was messing with my entire life. Every thread of my life.” #eventide_love : Emotional Abuse as a Psychological Thriller. #artwork🎨 Flora Borsi : : : #emotionalabuse #psychologicalthriller #mystory #creativewriting #writinginspiration #davidlynch #hitchcock #publishing #bookpublishing #psychological #psychologicalabuse #lovindublin #womensaid #womenempowerment
Eventide Love this is my story. In a speech at Wheaton College, Massachusetts, Carl Sagan spoke of how we humans share 99.6% of our active genes with chimpanzees. He described male chimps as aggressive and female chimps as non-aggressive. When under stress or threatened, male chimps become angry, pick up stones and hold them in their palms to hurl at the target. Female chimps, he tells us, walks up to the angry males, pry open their fingers, removes the stones, and drop them on the ground. I tried to take the stones from his hands; I tried talking, texting, writing, believing, settling, begging, tears and anger. I always tried to be the peacemaker, to give him what he wanted while attempting to maintain some dignity. That was unacceptable to him; he wanted to control the terms completely. His terms harmed me. It carried on. Every time I tried to kill the flame, he would always reignite it. My instinct for survival made me realize that unless he was crushed completely the flame would never go out. #eventide_love ; : : #psychologicalthriller #psychological #thriller #thrillers #amwriting #mystory #myblog #emotionalabuse #hitchcock #davidlynch #blogtobook #writingblog
When words have lost their meaning @outlines_arturo : : : : #sothebys #sothebyshongkong #eventide_love #amwriting #mystory #emotionalabuse #livewithart #artandlife #psychologicalthriller #davidlynch #hitchcock #alfredhitchcock
My #eventide_love. “The reflections are chaotically painful just like the time spent with Paul, raising feelings of helplessness, despair, humiliation, loneliness, fear; sensations erotically blended with sensuality. That mental ache is the indelible scar left by emotional abuse, the legacy of Paul Allen’s ‘Love.’ I live in the long shadow of the trauma once again centered in my life through writing the book. I placed my soul at Paul’s feet, and he kicked me so hard with his emotional games I landed in an open grave." : : #amwriting #mystory #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller #thrillerbooks #ladygaga #quoted #blogto #book #ireland🍀

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Recovering from Emotional Abuse

PT drawingIs this how you feel right now?

“Everyone keeps telling me that time heals all wounds, but no one can tell me what I’m supposed to do right now. Right now, I can’t sleep. It’s right now that I can’t eat. Right now, I still hear his voice and sense his ominous presence even though I know he’s not here. Right now, I am suffering gut-wrenching despair. Right now, all I seem to do is cry. I know all about time and wounds healing, but even if I had all the time in the world, I still don’t know what to do with all this hurt right now.”

It’s horrible. I know how you feel.  I thought I would never feel relief from the knot of despair in my stomach. Or that I would ever be able to breath again, walk in the sunshine, laugh with my friends, eat with my family. I desperately wanted the pain to go away. It was sucking the life out of me. But you know what, there was very little I could do to banish the pain. I had to seek help. I went on medication and bunkered down for the pain to dissipate. My psychiatrist gave me the most invaluable piece of information at the time. ‘As each day passes forming new memories allows the memory of the older events to fade. Only when time passes and memories change will you start to recover.’ I explain it in a very simplicity way. I spent the New Year immediately after we broke up in a psychiatric hospital in a living hell of memories of the two of us together. The crescendoes of abuse particularly in the way it ended convulsed me. The following New Year held memories of the suffering and pain and the New Year after that memories of spending lovely and loving times with my family and friends. As time moved on my memory of us of the abuse decayed with fresh buds of memories pushing through. The recovery has not been uncomplicated. The residue of the abuse lays dormant in my soul. And that is where it remains. It will never leave me but I am now in a much better place. The knot untangled. The pain eased off. The despair weakened. I can breath again, laugh with my friends, eat with my family and run in the sunshine of life. The truth that I was a victim of abuse is still difficult to understand but at least now I can live with it without the pain and shame.

Give your mind a break, seek help, support and the nourish your emotions. Talk about your pain. I know right now it’s hard to believe; YOU WILL FEEL BETTER ONE DAY. xx

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