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"But where do you go to my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
Won't you tell me the thoughts that surround you I want to look inside your head, yes I do." #songlyrics #eventide_love  #lostinlove #mindlessbehavior #mindgames #mystory #amwriting #psychologicalthriller based around #emotionalabuse  #follownow #Blog bio link in bio. #ireland🇮🇪 #bookblogger a Psychological Thriller based around emotional abuse; -
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"I kissed him like he was my God, and I his protector. I kissed him with a desperate, dark wildness. I kissed him hard with my tongue, my teeth in utter abandonment. A storm built in both of us as he laid siege to my desire, his hands sliding down my body, clasping my ass, entering me with a savage drive. At that moment we became lost in our universe as two uncomplicated fucking beasts. In that flash instant, he intoxicated me in a frenzied desire for his sheer physical strength, for his passion, for his stimulation, my life fueled by his breath. I convulsed from the savagery of his kisses, his fucking, penetrating with callous intent and right then I knew I could never be without this man in my life. My intellect captured, frenzied lust exploding as he pummelled me I clung on fucking him as if my life depended on it. It was that one fuck." #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller #amwriting #mystory #writingismyfreedom #writinglife #badlove #psyco #thrillerbooks Pain of a Silent Cry  #eventide_love Psychological Thriller- follow link for the story. . "I am struggling to surface from a limited perspective of my one-dimensional life with Chris. My life is falling apart; I am fading like a dying bulb into darkness. I am terrified of the future without Chris but even more terrified of my life with him." #psychologicalthriller #emotionalabuse #mystory #writinglife #thrillerbooks #amwriting #writingmystory #readers #artwork_artist #peterallert #saatchiartist #livewithart #artcollector Shades of Danger & Adventure - sums up life in emotional abuse. "There were many shades in the danger of adventures and gales, most of which were exhilarating and golden. It is only now and then that there appears on the face of facts a sinister violence of intention- that indefinable something which forces it upon the mind and the heart." "I could see no images only shades of light
I spread my arms out over the abyss

my heart’s rhythm was so slow
there was no need to inhale
my soul on the edge of the abyss
strands of obscure light from the heart of the earth
reached out and attached to my skin hugging me
I embraced the powerful draw of the abyss
the light fading and dying, I looked up and saw you." "Most victims keep their abusers secrets; they count on that, knowing exposing them exposes our failings. Telling about what happened to you is a powerful healing force that can dispel the shame of being a victim. Remember; the perversion belongs to the perpetrator and so does the shame." I write Emotional Abuse as a Psychological Thriller. #amwriting #truestory💯 #psychologicalabuse #mentalabuse #eventide_love #ireland🍀 #alfredhitchcock #davidlynch #amwritingfiction #bloglife

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Blog Quotes 1 – #maybehedosenthityou

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I tried to take the stones from his hands; I tried talking, texting, writing, believing, settling, begging, tears and anger. I always tried to be the peacemaker, to give him what he wanted, while attempting to maintain some dignity. That was unacceptable to him; he wanted to control the terms completely. The terms harmed me. It carried on. Every time I tried to kill the flame, he would always reignite it.    

 

 

 

 

30a73afe325e34d504332ad26f62350eMy drive for love, for closeness, caused me to become a junkie, to make bad choices and impede my ability to move away from the “amphetamine-like high” of the beginning of our romance. Eventually, I was plunged into gut-wrenching despair, this rocketing from the high and lows of my craving for Paul, who fed and starved my addiction.

 

 

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The wild, mercurial relationship shackled me to an opiate-like anxiety. I was living on the edge of life, – it was like clinging to the verge of a cliff 24 hours a day. I longed for serenity, for the harmonious security of attachment.

I thought there was something wrong with me, that it was my problem until we went to counselling. I started to figure out the signs of the abuse I had missed. It took another few months, but it was the spark to my delirious compulsion to end the relationship.

 

i_love_you_200074On a couple of occasions, as I thought about leaving him, he would raise the goal post and promise me he loved me, he wanted me, he needed me. So I would vanish the misgivings gnawing at my mind, stay with him. I should have paid more attention to my ‘gut instinct’ while I still had the aptitude to question his stories and behavior. 

 

As the crazy-making, intensifies, I react with despair, rage, and panic to his seemingly benign happenings or comments appearing the crazy one. He makes my reactive behavior the focus telling me and everyone else how crazy I am. But the truth is he wears ‘the mask of sanity’ which enables him to indulge his twisted crazy-making off me.o-SAD-570

 

Just before our relationship ended, he had spoken of the importance for us to protect ourselves. I puzzled over what exactly he meant, and those words came back to haunt me. Without a doubt, the worst was yet to come.

 

I don’t give a shit about discretion or prissiness. You ambushed me. You are destroying me, you have wounded me, and I am supposed to keep quiet. What words am I supposed to use for what you’ve done to me, for what you’re doing to me?

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With my psychiatrist, we analyzed his treatment of me carefully. It forced me to look at the inconsistency of his nature, his deceit, his caustic presence in my life. We were like two scientists working on a project, building a case study. That’s what saved me. It was a relief to discover that I was not a crazy person, he had driven me crazy something known as “Gaslighting.” As we built our dossier, it became evident that he had behaved like a narcissist, but it went even further he also acted like a sociopath as he had no conscience.

 

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As tears welled up in my eyes, I dropped my face into my hands, the tears evolving into wailing. Paul tucked in close to me on the small couch, stiff and upright, not a flinch, not a flicker, totally still. The air was thick, suffocating me. A moment suspended and another. I felt the soft touch of the psychotherapists hand and her gentle voice.

Eventide  Love – A psychological Thriller.
I am writing a book on emotional abuse as a psychological thriller based on my story.

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One comment on “Blog Quotes 1 – #maybehedosenthityou

  1. - annie says:

    this sums of my life – and i am sure the lives of many. i too puzzled over my ex’s comment that i needed to “hurry and decide whether or not i wanted to remodel our master bathroom.” hind sight says i should have – and i should have spent big bucks doing it too!

    Like

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