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“At that very first kiss I felt something melt inside me that hurt in an ethereal way. All my longings, all my dreams and sweet anguish, all the secrets that slept deep within my soul came awake. I felt the narcotic sensuality of Maryvn Gaye’s lyrics playing inside my heart in perfect harmony with life.” #eventide_love #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller : : #amwriting #mystory #psychologicalabuse #creativewriting #hitchcock #davidlynch #relationshipsgoals #badlove #marvyngaye #myquote #publishing #metoo #metoomovement #womenempowerment #ireland🍀
“There were many shades in the danger of adventures and gales, most of which were exhilarating and golden. It is only now and then that there appears on the face of facts a sinister violence of intention- that indefinable something which forces it upon the mind and the heart. It is this complication of incidents, or these elemental furies coming at me with a purpose of malice, with a strength beyond control, with an unbridled cruelty. And this means it tears out my hope and passion. MY pain of fatigue and longing for rest targets destruction, annihilates all I can see, known, loved, enjoyed, or hated; all that is priceless and necessary- the sunshine, the memories, the future. My precious world as I knew it sweeps utterly away from my sight, further and further as each day goes by, it’s simply an appalling act of losing my life.” #eventide_love : :: #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller #artwork🎨 @darren_crowley : : #amwriting #mystory #psychologicalthriller #hitchcock #publishing #psychological #womensaid #lovindublin #blogtobook #lifeblogger #davidlynch #reesewitherspoonbookclub #womenempowerment #emotionalrollercoaster
“As my life unraveled from my relationship with Paul, I wanted people to see the abuse, to believe it, to have faith in me. And more than that, I wanted them to know me. Not the stuff they thought they knew about me. No, the real me. I wanted them to get past the rumors, to see beyond the exposer of the relationship. I needed them to understand the devastation, to cushion the fall without preconception. What I didn't know at that stage is that when Paul messed with my life, he was not messing with one part of my life, he was messing with my entire life. Every thread of my life.” #eventide_love : Emotional Abuse as a Psychological Thriller. #artwork🎨 Flora Borsi : : : #emotionalabuse #psychologicalthriller #mystory #creativewriting #writinginspiration #davidlynch #hitchcock #publishing #bookpublishing #psychological #psychologicalabuse #lovindublin #womensaid #womenempowerment
Eventide Love this is my story. In a speech at Wheaton College, Massachusetts, Carl Sagan spoke of how we humans share 99.6% of our active genes with chimpanzees. He described male chimps as aggressive and female chimps as non-aggressive. When under stress or threatened, male chimps become angry, pick up stones and hold them in their palms to hurl at the target. Female chimps, he tells us, walks up to the angry males, pry open their fingers, removes the stones, and drop them on the ground. I tried to take the stones from his hands; I tried talking, texting, writing, believing, settling, begging, tears and anger. I always tried to be the peacemaker, to give him what he wanted while attempting to maintain some dignity. That was unacceptable to him; he wanted to control the terms completely. His terms harmed me. It carried on. Every time I tried to kill the flame, he would always reignite it. My instinct for survival made me realize that unless he was crushed completely the flame would never go out. #eventide_love ; : : #psychologicalthriller #psychological #thriller #thrillers #amwriting #mystory #myblog #emotionalabuse #hitchcock #davidlynch #blogtobook #writingblog
When words have lost their meaning @outlines_arturo : : : : #sothebys #sothebyshongkong #eventide_love #amwriting #mystory #emotionalabuse #livewithart #artandlife #psychologicalthriller #davidlynch #hitchcock #alfredhitchcock
My #eventide_love. “The reflections are chaotically painful just like the time spent with Paul, raising feelings of helplessness, despair, humiliation, loneliness, fear; sensations erotically blended with sensuality. That mental ache is the indelible scar left by emotional abuse, the legacy of Paul Allen’s ‘Love.’ I live in the long shadow of the trauma once again centered in my life through writing the book. I placed my soul at Paul’s feet, and he kicked me so hard with his emotional games I landed in an open grave." : : #amwriting #mystory #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller #thrillerbooks #ladygaga #quoted #blogto #book #ireland🍀

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Narcissistic Repercussion

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At the end of a relationship the Narcissist faces potential exposure of his abusive behavior Your leaving/ending and loss of expected NS (Narcissistic Supply), ensuing separation/divorce, financial repercussions, can result in narcissistic injury and subsequent narcissistic rage. His targets find themselves on the receiving end of the Narcissist’s relentless abuse, smear campaign, endless legal battles and other creative cruelties. This narcissistic rage may be, in fact, much worse than what you experienced within the relationship.

Victims may have experienced severe physical or psychological abuse. That abuse, of course, is hidden behind closed doors. Seldom is there proof or witnesses.

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Biased or ignorant courts may fail to recognize N tactics and victims may find no justice in the legal system. Some victims will now be dealing with the ‘sport litigator’s’ endless courtroom abuse. This N will not hesitate to pay top dollar in legal fees to obtain the benefit of the high-octane spotlight of attention the courts provide. He will not be concerned in any way with your financial/emotional needs. The preservation of his image and NS is now all-important.

Interfering with the Narcissist’s distorted sense of of his personal entitlement produces the Narcissist rage. 

Even the victim’s relatives, friends, and colleagues are amenable to the considerable charm, persuasiveness, and manipulativeness of the abuser and to his impressive thespian skills. The abuser offers a plausible rendition of the events and interprets them to his favor. Others rarely have a chance to witness an abusive exchange first hand and at close quarters. In contrast, the victims are often on the verge of a nervous breakdown: harassed, unkempt, irritable, impatient, abrasive, and hysterical.”

Confronted with this contrast between a polished, self-controlled, and suave abuser and his harried casualties it is easy to reach the conclusion that the real victim is the abuser, or that both parties abuse each other equally. The prey’s acts of self-defense, assertiveness, or insistence on her rights are interpreted as aggression, lability, or a mental health problem.
Narcissism by Proxy: Dr. Sam Vaknin

Dr. Ernest Wolf on the Narcissistic Rage:
The narcissistically injured on the other hand, cannot rest until he has blotted out a vaguely experienced offender who dared to oppose him, to disagree with him, or to outshine him. It can never find rest because it can never wipe out the evidence that has contradicted its conviction it is unique and perfect. This archaic rage goes on and on and on.

Narcissistic rage occurs in many forms. They all share, however, a specific psychological flavor which gives them a distinct position within the wide realm of human aggressions. The need for revenge, for righting a wrong, for undoing a hurt by whatever means, and a deeply anchored, unrelenting compulsion in the pursuit of all these aims, which gives no rest to those who have suffered a narcissistic injury -these are the characteristic features of narcissistic rage in all its forms and which set it apart from other kinds of aggression.

Narcissistic rage is a horse of a different color. Sometimes conditions occur which make a person feel totally helpless and powerless. This is an unbearable experience and results in that individual’s unlimited rage to destroy – destroy any opponent, anyone who is not for me is against me, destroy the world, etc. Unfortunately, this narcissistic rage does not disappear when the helplessness or powerlessness have disappeared. Rather, this type of rage goes on, and on, and on, and only very gradually sort of wears itself out. Disruption-Restoration

Source – Abuse Recovery

Group Helplessness and Rage Ernest S. Wolf, MD

This is a poem I wrote at the end of my relationship .

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Lawyers letter
huddled in moonlight shadow
Chablis drowned despair
nights darkness
Darkness of my reality

Related Posts – After

Meet the Author – On The Edge

Female Narcissists – Men and women are both victims. This site is written from my experience that of a woman. It fully acknowledges the female narcissist and the chaos and destruction that can be caused to men in such an abusive relationship.

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