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“At that very first kiss I felt something melt inside me that hurt in an ethereal way. All my longings, all my dreams and sweet anguish, all the secrets that slept deep within my soul came awake. I felt the narcotic sensuality of Maryvn Gaye’s lyrics playing inside my heart in perfect harmony with life.” #eventide_love #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller : : #amwriting #mystory #psychologicalabuse #creativewriting #hitchcock #davidlynch #relationshipsgoals #badlove #marvyngaye #myquote #publishing #metoo #metoomovement #womenempowerment #ireland🍀
“There were many shades in the danger of adventures and gales, most of which were exhilarating and golden. It is only now and then that there appears on the face of facts a sinister violence of intention- that indefinable something which forces it upon the mind and the heart. It is this complication of incidents, or these elemental furies coming at me with a purpose of malice, with a strength beyond control, with an unbridled cruelty. And this means it tears out my hope and passion. MY pain of fatigue and longing for rest targets destruction, annihilates all I can see, known, loved, enjoyed, or hated; all that is priceless and necessary- the sunshine, the memories, the future. My precious world as I knew it sweeps utterly away from my sight, further and further as each day goes by, it’s simply an appalling act of losing my life.” #eventide_love : :: #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller #artwork🎨 @darren_crowley : : #amwriting #mystory #psychologicalthriller #hitchcock #publishing #psychological #womensaid #lovindublin #blogtobook #lifeblogger #davidlynch #reesewitherspoonbookclub #womenempowerment #emotionalrollercoaster
“As my life unraveled from my relationship with Paul, I wanted people to see the abuse, to believe it, to have faith in me. And more than that, I wanted them to know me. Not the stuff they thought they knew about me. No, the real me. I wanted them to get past the rumors, to see beyond the exposer of the relationship. I needed them to understand the devastation, to cushion the fall without preconception. What I didn't know at that stage is that when Paul messed with my life, he was not messing with one part of my life, he was messing with my entire life. Every thread of my life.” #eventide_love : Emotional Abuse as a Psychological Thriller. #artwork🎨 Flora Borsi : : : #emotionalabuse #psychologicalthriller #mystory #creativewriting #writinginspiration #davidlynch #hitchcock #publishing #bookpublishing #psychological #psychologicalabuse #lovindublin #womensaid #womenempowerment
Eventide Love this is my story. In a speech at Wheaton College, Massachusetts, Carl Sagan spoke of how we humans share 99.6% of our active genes with chimpanzees. He described male chimps as aggressive and female chimps as non-aggressive. When under stress or threatened, male chimps become angry, pick up stones and hold them in their palms to hurl at the target. Female chimps, he tells us, walks up to the angry males, pry open their fingers, removes the stones, and drop them on the ground. I tried to take the stones from his hands; I tried talking, texting, writing, believing, settling, begging, tears and anger. I always tried to be the peacemaker, to give him what he wanted while attempting to maintain some dignity. That was unacceptable to him; he wanted to control the terms completely. His terms harmed me. It carried on. Every time I tried to kill the flame, he would always reignite it. My instinct for survival made me realize that unless he was crushed completely the flame would never go out. #eventide_love ; : : #psychologicalthriller #psychological #thriller #thrillers #amwriting #mystory #myblog #emotionalabuse #hitchcock #davidlynch #blogtobook #writingblog
When words have lost their meaning @outlines_arturo : : : : #sothebys #sothebyshongkong #eventide_love #amwriting #mystory #emotionalabuse #livewithart #artandlife #psychologicalthriller #davidlynch #hitchcock #alfredhitchcock
My #eventide_love. “The reflections are chaotically painful just like the time spent with Paul, raising feelings of helplessness, despair, humiliation, loneliness, fear; sensations erotically blended with sensuality. That mental ache is the indelible scar left by emotional abuse, the legacy of Paul Allen’s ‘Love.’ I live in the long shadow of the trauma once again centered in my life through writing the book. I placed my soul at Paul’s feet, and he kicked me so hard with his emotional games I landed in an open grave." : : #amwriting #mystory #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller #thrillerbooks #ladygaga #quoted #blogto #book #ireland🍀

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Emotional Abuse: Damage, Despair and Self-doubt

Emotional abuse: damage, despair and self-doubt

The most important thing a victim of emotional abuse can do is talk about the problem, in order to make sense of it. Their self-esteem isn’t actually gone; they’ve just lost contact with it.

Artist- Kim Buck

Artist- Kim Buck

Shared from The Irish Times  First Published December 9 2014. Erin McGuire @e_mcguire

If you feel you can’t be yourself in a relationship, it may be a sign of something more serious than just being with the wrong person.

It might be emotional abuse, also referred to as psychological abuse, which erodes a victim’s confidence and builds up a power imbalance in a relationship.

It wears a person down over time. Eventually, it can cause anxiety, panic attacks, depression, substance abuse, insomnia, asthma or an inability to trust people. Despite the possible symptoms, many people don’t realise they are in an abusive relationship.

“It goes under the radar because it’s not physical,” says Bernadette Ryan, a psychotherapist with Relationships Ireland. “But the scars can run really deep and be hugely damaging. Maybe they’re not in danger of physical harm, but they live in torture.”

When a client comes into counselling, Ryan has to be a detective because victims rarely understand what is happening to them.

“The victims can feel so confused. We all think our lives are what passes for normal, particularly with relationships and families,” she says. “On the outside, a couple can look successful, with great careers, but the victim is going home to hell.”

Eventually, the victim loses all sense of who they are. “Their abuser’s voice takes over, and they can’t speak with their own voice anymore,” says Ryan.

It can happen to anyone

Two in five women have experienced some form of psychological violence by a current or previous partner, according to a recent report by the EU Agency for Fundamental Rights. The findings were based on interviews with 42,000 women across 28 member states.

In this case, “psychological violence” includes controlling behaviour (for example, trying to keep a victim from seeing friends or visiting family), economic violence (such as forbidding a victim to work outside the home) and blackmail.

Of the 17,000-plus calls answered by domestic violence support service Women’s Aid in 2013, two-thirds related to emotional abuse. Although the majority of victims are women, emotional abuse can happen to anyone.

Margaret Martin, director of Women’s Aid, says: “Domestic violence, in any of its forms, cuts across any category you use to divide people up: age, culture, educational background, social class.

“Emotional abuse can make shadows of the most intelligent women,” she says. “Women in very senior positions at work will feel like frauds because they’ll come home and be treated so poorly.”

According to Don Hennessy of the Cork Marriage Counselling Centre and author of the book How He Gets into Her Head, the one thing all victims have in common is kindness. “They have to be the type of person willing to put another person’s needs before their own.”

The first thing Hennessy asks someone seeking support at the counselling centre is: are you being blamed for things in your relationship? “And the usual response is, ‘Yes, I’m blamed for everything.’ ”

He says abusers groom their partners to meet their needs from the start of a relationship. They usually have a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy and the ability to manipulate.

Something else abusers tend to be, according to Ryan, is charming. “Friends and family will say, ‘Wow, what an amazing partner.’ When everyone’s telling you he’s fantastic, you think he must be.”

How it starts

Ryan says the relationship usually begins on a high note. “It will start with charm, gifts, putting the person on a pedestal, wanting to know all about them.” But things slowly change.

According to Martin, one of the key facets of emotional abuse is isolation from friends and family. The abuser might also criticise what the victim is especially proud of, such as her parenting. “That, combined with isolation from people who treat you with respect, will erode confidence. Then it becomes part of your normal.”

One of the hallmark signs of a relationship like this is the feeling of walking on eggshells around the abuser.

“Most victims will be forced to take responsibility for the emotional temperature of the relationship. If anything is slightly askew, she will take responsibility and he will blame her. The abuser makes his own behaviour her fault,” Hennessy says.

All of this is to gain control of a victim’s instincts and intuition.

Getting help

Victims often stay in broken relationships because they think they can make it better and hope the abusive behaviour will change.

The most important thing a victim can do initially, according to Martin, is talk to people. “What gets them through it is the support of friends and family. When they begin to talk about it, they start making sense of it.”

And once a woman is safe, “she is more than capable of recovering and living her own life”, says Hennessy. “Their self-esteem isn’t actually gone; they’ve just lost contact with it.”

Women’s Aid national freephone helpline: 1-800-341900. helpline@womensaid.ie Amen confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse: 046-9023718.

Emotional Abuse Explained. 

My Story- It’s A Rap

Meet Me blog founder.

**Emotional Abuse Violates Civil Rights

A foundation of modern morality is the relationship of power and responsibility. The more power you have, the more responsibility you bear. (Inherent in the definition of abuse is the use of power without responsibility.) When we form emotional bonds – when we love and are loved – we gain a great deal of power over the emotional health and well-being of the loved one, whether we want it or not.

Accompanying that power is the responsibility to protect those we love from deliberate and repeated psychological harm for the purpose of controlling or manipulating them or merely for the adrenalin rush of feeling superior. It is the responsibility of everyone to love without abusing the power that goes with it, and it is the civil right of everyone to love without suffering intentional and repeated hurt.

**By Steven Stosny, Ph.D., Psychology Today 

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