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Important 🔜 I am amalgamating my Insta posts to @absolutely_patsy . So I am now only posting on that handle. Please follow for posts on writing, art, lifestyle and my two Shitzs 🤪.
Project; Let’s Write Love The magic wand to writing is writing. There is nothing complicated about it, just start. Find that space and time, and simply begin to write your stories as blogs. When I started, I wrote chapters in a short story format as I went along. I published them as blogs. Later on, I headed into the editing process, which I will cover later on, organizing and editing my blogs into the book. Don't overwhelm yourself by believing you are starting to write a book. That's not how writing works. You write a sentence, then a paragraph, then maybe if you're lucky, an entire chapter. Writing happens in fits and starts, in bits and pieces. It's a process. You take one step at a time, then another and another. To help you kickstart your writing, I am going to give you a prompt. And that is the Word' Love'. It sounds simple, but the truth is love is a complex web of action and emotion. It's an emotion that runs through every story in all guises. It can be pure love, deep love, lonely love, anxious love, abusive love, conflicted love, whatever kind of love you are feeling or experiencing. Below some examples to help stimulate your creative juices; 1 Love in Isolation. 2 Family Love 3 Love for a partner 4 Lost Love 5 Broken Love 6 Enduring love 7 Obsessive Love 8 Love of a Pet 9 The pain of Love 10 Dangerous Love 11 Happy Love This exercise will help you understand your voice in your style of writing. : : You can email me your writing and let’s build a safe place for us to create and share together ❤️ Get started, keep writing. Stay Safe, Stay Positive, Create, don't Despair. Dress @onjenu : : : : #amwriting #writingcommunity #covıd19 #selfisolation #writelove #ireland🇮🇪 #vision2020 #imagemagazineireland #theglossmagazine #voguemagazine #creativewriting #irishwriters #writingtips #howtowrite #covid19ireland #coronavirusireland #staysafe #createeveryday #createdontdespair
Hi everyone, just a little reminder to find that space and start your writing. Last post on my grid- Writing 1 - What, Why, Knowledge, stay on it. : Get writing, keep writing and email me. Chat tomorrow. Stay Safe, Stay Positive, Create don’t Despair. 💃 #absolutelypatsy : : : . #staysafe #stayhome #letswritetogether #letswrite #writingprompts #writinginspiration #womenover50 #amwriting #psychologicalthriller #fictionwriter #memoir #creativewritingsociety #writingcommunity #womenempowerment #covıd19 #covid19ireland #lovindublin #vision2020
Like so many of you I am looking after my mum and dad in their older age. As I am in self isolation right now it’s proving very difficult and worrying. Mum who is not well fell a few times last night and my poor 92 year old dad finding it hard to cope. It breaks my heart that elderly people have to go through all of this alone during a time when we should be with them and hugging and minding them. Still waiting to be tested. Lots of love to all the elderly out there 💗 : : : : #covid19ireland #staysafe
As Promised today is the start of writing our way through these difficult times. Today's project below. What - What do you want to write about? There are so many genres in writing: Romance, Fantasy, Thriller, Detective, Mystery, Adventure, Horror. Or you might want to write a memoir, or what you are going through right now, possibly as a blog. And then there is Young Adult Fiction and Children. Whatever you want to write, it's essential that in a few hundred words, you outline your idea. That's the first thing for you to do today. : Why - Why do you want to write it? Similarly, write a few hundred words on why you want to write. That will help you understand what your end goal is. Do you want to have a novel at the end, or a series of short stories, start a blog, publish or for own satisfaction? : Knowledge - What is your experience, understanding, comprehension of your subject matter? ‘Write for yourself; rewrite for others'…this is one of the most excellent writing tips for beginners anyone could give you. Know your subject, but equally as important, know your audience better than they know themselves. Act as if you are speaking to one person and write accordingly to create an emotional tie with your readers. : The Magic of Writing Writing is magic, from your imagination, you can create something quite literally out of nothing. Once I started the process of writing, I began to love it. I found myself looking forward to my allocated writing time, excited to see where I was going with the characters and story. The best way to do justice to writing is to love it. Once you start enjoying the process as I did, it will come naturally to you, and you'll look forward to writing every day. Your magic wand to writing is to simply put your fingers to the keyboard or pen to paper. Set a time, be disciplined, and reveal in your writing. Be consistent and keep the words flowing regularly. Try and notch up a few hundred words every day, so you don't lose the thread the magic touch. : Email: Top @onjenu. Love @tommazer #absolutelypatsy
My babe Olliepop telling me how much he loves me as I self isolate, not feeling great, waiting to be tested. @petbond_ireland : : : : #absolutelypatsy #covid19ireland #dogslove #dogslife🐶 #lovemyshihtzu #mentalhealth #staysafeoutthere #selfisolation

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Emotional Abuse – and the Brain.


It’s such a roller coaster ride. What is? Coming to terms with the emotional abuse that brought me to my knees ripping my life apart, leaving me isolated from my world. I go from feeling good and feeling safe and loved to being racked with guilt, feeling vulnerable again and that no one loves me; it’s all just a game. I feel trapped. Probably the most difficult aspect of the abuse to deal with is people not understanding, or believing that emotional abuse is real. Dismissing me as possibly nuts rather than a victim of abuse, and this is the final nail in the psychopathic coffin. The Trap. No one believes you; after all you looked so happy together. You said it yourself, why did you go on ‘loving’ that person, why did you stay. Instead of being the victim, you sound crazy, bitter and unable to handle rejection. I made the mistake of fighting my corner, confronting some ‘friends’ on their judgment. It got me no where; I just isolated myself even further. What I shockingly discovered is those people want to stay out of anything they don’t understand, they don’t like the threat of it to their lives. To avoid this, do not try to defend or explain yourself to anyone. Yes, you need to share your story, but you need to share it with people who know what you’ve been through. You don’t need someone telling you to “get over it” or “breakups are part of life”. You need someone (and we all have someone) who will help you unravel this hell and set you on a path to peace and not judge you.

I have to dig deep and hard to understand how someone in just a year could slash a wound so deep into my soul that two years on it continues to seep. I have days of wonderment and happiness, feeling good and decent. But still now after two years I have days of despair, feeling guilty and indecent. That feeling of being violated, I simply can’t banish from my thoughts. Once a trusting person I now constantly question motives. So many of you kindly commended me for being so strong, so brave and honest. My psychiatrist told me that I was quite exceptional in my recovery. This evening I will let you into a secret. I still struggle to cope. I still have weeks when I hit a wall, when I am bashing against a wall. I feel despair that I can’t shift the feeling of abuse, that at this stage it’s not a distant memory. So when you feel anger or fear or annoyance at your difficulty in recovery from abuse, remember it is a common setback, and we just have to keep pushing through that black hole. I find it inconceivable how profoundly the abuse has stayed with me. However if you apply logic to your struggle from emotional abuse, it’s not that inconceivable.

Emotional abuse doesn’t stop the day you walk away from an emotionally abusive partner. Why? Let me get a little technical here. The hippocampus a major part of the brain is part of the limbic system–also known as the ‘emotional brain.’BrainWordless

It supports a variety of functions including adrenaline flow, emotion, behavior, motivation, long-term memory. Emotional life is largely housed in the limbic system, and it has a great deal to do with the formation of memories. It controls most of the involuntary aspects of emotional behavior that relate to survival.

If you are living in a toxic environment filled with your partner’s narcissism, addictions, and abuse your ‘emotional brain’ is being harmed. I didn’t realize at the time that I was living in an environment that was resulting in the death of neurons, (These highly specialized nerve cells are responsible for communicating information in both chemical and electrical forms throughout the body.) And, of course, ensuring that new ones weren’t developed through the process of neurogenesis, either. Fortunately, I did hold onto a tiny bit of cognitive functioning to realize that life with my partner was toxic, and things were probably going to continue to grow worse rather than better. The relationship was destroying my spirit and strangling my soul. I did not realize that the abuse was harming my ‘emotional brain.’ I was not concerned about my brain; I did not know about all of this at that time.

So now I am starting to understand why the recovery is so hard, why and how the abuse has impacted so deeply. Emotional abuse leaves an indelible scar. The scar can manifest in depression, and extreme or dulled emotional responsiveness, it interferes with subsequent healthy sensation and experience. Abuse leaves a trace in the brain. Investigating the Neurological Consequences of Abuse has helped me to stop feeling so angry at myself for taking so long to recovery and for, not recovering fully. It is also helps understand that the impact of the abuse might always linger in my brain. But that doesn’t mean that recovery is impossible. Many abuse victims do not develop symptoms, (unfortunately I developed severe PTSD), and research shows increasingly that the brain can dramatically change when provided with the right type of support and emotional nourishment. I am lucky that I have such support. Understanding what went wrong during and after abuse, I believe, will help me figure it all out and relieve the despondency.  At least that’s my long-term hope.

So armed with that knowledge I now have I remember, and I want you to remember: You are not crazy. You’re not bipolar, insane, hypersensitive, jealous, or needy. You’re a victim of emotional abuse. Share your story with people who get it and can help and support you towards healing the scar. The psychopath does not matter. It’s the subsequent recovery journey that changes everything. I for one intend to keep that hope at the front of my mind as I continue the tug-of-war with the seeping wound of emotional abuse.

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