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I am obsessing over my book draft. To paraphrase a quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald; “I feel like I am swimming under water and holding my breath.” I read and read it but I can’t let it go as finished. #eventide_love : : : : #amwriting #emotionalabuse as #psychologicalthriller #mystory #writingchallenge #gaslighting #hitchcock #davidlynch #creativewritings #blogto #bookshelves #bookquotes #myblog #truestory💯 #lovindublin
‘Dark Star crashes, pouring its light into ashes… Mirror shatters in formless reflections of matter… Shall we go, you and I while we can… Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds…. ‘ : : Eventide Love is my story of emotional abuse as a psychological thriller. : The protagonist relies on mental resources rather than physical strength to overcome his victim. The conflict is played out through mind games, deception, and manipulation, with sustained attempts to demolish the victim’s mental equilibrium. #eventide_love @ptsouros : : #psychologicalabuse #psychologicalthriller #emotionalabuse #blogto #book #mystory #creativewriting #safeireland #amwriting #gaslightingawareness #hitchcock #davidlynch
“At that very first kiss I felt something melt inside me that hurt in an ethereal way. All my longings, all my dreams and sweet anguish, all the secrets that slept deep within my soul came awake. I felt the narcotic sensuality of Maryvn Gaye’s lyrics playing inside my heart in perfect harmony with life.” #eventide_love #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller : : #amwriting #mystory #psychologicalabuse #creativewriting #hitchcock #davidlynch #relationshipsgoals #badlove #marvyngaye #myquote #publishing #metoo #metoomovement #womenempowerment #ireland🍀
Emotional Abuse as a Psychological Thriller. Link in Bio: : There were many shades in the danger of adventures and gales, most of which were exhilarating and golden. It is only now and then that there appears on the face of facts a sinister violence of intention- that indefinable something which forces it upon the mind and the heart. It is this complication of incidents, or these elemental furies coming at me with a purpose of malice, with a strength beyond control, with an unbridled cruelty. And this means it tears out my hope and passion. MY pain of fatigue and longing for rest targets destruction, annihilates all I can see, known, loved, enjoyed, or hated; all that is priceless and necessary- the sunshine, the memories, the future. My precious world as I knew it sweeps utterly away from my sight, further and further as each day goes by, it’s simply an appalling act of losing my life.” #eventide_love : :: #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller #artwork🎨 @darren_crowley : : #amwriting #mystory #psychologicalthriller #hitchcock #publishing #psychological #womensaid #lovindublin #blogtobook #lifeblogger #davidlynch #reesewitherspoonbookclub #womenempowerment #emotionalrollercoaster
“As my life unraveled from my relationship with Paul, I wanted people to see the abuse, to believe it, to have faith in me. And more than that, I wanted them to know me. Not the stuff they thought they knew about me. No, the real me. I wanted them to get past the rumors, to see beyond the exposer of the relationship. I needed them to understand the devastation, to cushion the fall without preconception. What I didn't know at that stage is that when Paul messed with my life, he was not messing with one part of my life, he was messing with my entire life. Every thread of my life.” #eventide_love : Emotional Abuse as a Psychological Thriller. #artwork🎨 Flora Borsi : : : #emotionalabuse #psychologicalthriller #mystory #creativewriting #writinginspiration #davidlynch #hitchcock #publishing #bookpublishing #psychological #psychologicalabuse #lovindublin #womensaid #womenempowerment
Eventide Love this is my story. In a speech at Wheaton College, Massachusetts, Carl Sagan spoke of how we humans share 99.6% of our active genes with chimpanzees. He described male chimps as aggressive and female chimps as non-aggressive. When under stress or threatened, male chimps become angry, pick up stones and hold them in their palms to hurl at the target. Female chimps, he tells us, walks up to the angry males, pry open their fingers, removes the stones, and drop them on the ground. I tried to take the stones from his hands; I tried talking, texting, writing, believing, settling, begging, tears and anger. I always tried to be the peacemaker, to give him what he wanted while attempting to maintain some dignity. That was unacceptable to him; he wanted to control the terms completely. His terms harmed me. It carried on. Every time I tried to kill the flame, he would always reignite it. My instinct for survival made me realize that unless he was crushed completely the flame would never go out. #eventide_love ; : : #psychologicalthriller #psychological #thriller #thrillers #amwriting #mystory #myblog #emotionalabuse #hitchcock #davidlynch #blogtobook #writingblog

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International Women’s Day: Has #metoo made a real difference in the conversation on abuse?

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Artist, Mikela Henry Lowe

Over the past year or so, there’s been a seismic shift in the way society talks about abuse. When I went public about my emotional abuse four years ago, I was scorned, disbelieved and castigated for “washing my linen in public.” Thanks to the powerful women speaking out against even more powerful men there has been an explosion in conversations around harassment and abuse – something which was a no-go area before.

Now, instead of being swept under the carpet, many more people (predominantly women) are speaking out about the abuse they have suffered. If there is one significant aspect of social media it’s the crack open the surreptitious mask of abuse.  Historically women questioned women who claimed abuse.  If they could not see a black eye or broken bones, they just did not believe the abuse allegations. It was a lonely place, with a lone voice. I know I was there. Ironically it was mostly girlfriends who disbelieved me. Who questioned my mental state, my intelligence, my state of mind, who turned their backs on me, buying into the abuse. The reality of abuse is that you live in a crazy world that results in driving you crazy. That is the ultimate aim of the mental violence to disable your life.

While the #MeToo movement has been significant in shining a light on abuse, it’s hard to know if this will translate into real change in the lives of women and the attitude of women to the abused.

It would be empowering if women were on the same side if we refused to be pitted against each other if we listened to the lone voice of abuse. Celebrities speaking is having a significant impact, but the jury is out on whether it will encourage others to come forward and talk about their abuse. #Metoo is undoubtedly helping to break down barriers and enabling others to gain the confidence to speak out. Now we need to extend the #Metoo that includes #Webelieve so that survivors can feel safe and find the courage to expose the abuse with no fear of isolation in particular from their friends and society in general.

While it is a positive thing that victims of sexual abuse can begin to feel they can talk about their experiences, this does little to tackle the underlying problem: The abuse itself, its ramifications to individuals and society.  I started a blog a few years ago on abuse and the biggest feedback I received was how brave I was to go public with my abuse and how they wished they had the spirit to do the same.

My response “shared from wise words by author Neil Gaiman”  is always the same;

“[They] count on our shame to keep their secrets. They know that exposing them means exposing our own failings. That’s what makes them so powerful. Telling another human being about what happened to you is a powerful healing force that can dispel the shame of being a victim. Remember, the action belongs to the perpetrator and so does the shame.  ”

The victim feels invaded and defiled, while simultaneously experiencing the indignity of being helpless and at the mercy of another person. The vulnerability of exposing the abuse is the biggest obstacle preventing victims from doing just that. They fear they won’t be believed, they will be ridiculed and their own behavior and mental health will be questioned.

The global reach of #MeToo has been enormous, so time will tell whether this translates into better support and empathy for victims. The taboo around abuse is slowly being taken on, so hopefully increased conversations and education around the subject will pave the way for improved understanding and advocacy of those who have experienced abuse.

I write a poetry blog ‘Poetry on Life’s Journey.” I refer to it as my lifesaving writing.

Eventide  Love – A psychological Thriller Blog to Book based on my story of emotional abuse which was extremely intense and destructive.

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