Chris dropped Aliki home from a visit to a psychotherapist. At the session, Chris banded around cliché’s “I love her but I can’t be seen to be a marriage breaker. She needs to do the leaving then in time we can be together publicly. If she were free, we would be together. I love her, but I can’t cope with her. She is amazing; she is crazy.”
As each day passed by her confusion and despair compounded in Chris’s behavior. She felt life ebbing away from her. She desperately wanted peace; she knew she needed him out of her life if she was to survive. She did not have the strength to leave him. The therapist offered to support Aliki in a break up to be there for her. She granted Chris the way out, but he would not take it. He would not let Aliki go. She felt like there was no escape from her tortured mind.
She kicked off her heels before making her way to the bathroom. In her usual habit she did not bother to shut the door, she stripped out of her clothes, refusing to look at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. She ran hot water until the glass steamed. Her mobile rang she went into the bedroom and retrieved it from her bag. It was Chris. She did not answer. She went back into the bathroom. Placing her phone on the ledge, lifting a leg over the side of the tub, she eased her foot into the bath and hissed at the scalding temperature. As she eased into scorching water, the heat arrested her senses; she leaned back and closed her eyes, falling into a trance.
Aliki gingerly touched the bruises at her throat flinching from the memory of Chris’s beautiful hands wrapped around her throat as he thrust deep inside her. He squeezed hard; his jaw clenched, and the veins protruded at his temples. The edges of her vision darkened as blazing flares popped like flashbulbs before her eyes. Her lungs screamed in agony. It felt like the inside of her chest was being scraped with a dull knife.
Then Chris exploded inside her, relaxed his grip just before she lost consciousness and flopped onto her body; he whispered,
“That’s what I love about you, your craziness especially with sex.”
She opened her eyes a shiver running through her body recounting Chris’s words. In front of her is a razor blade. Her mind in conflict as to whether or not to slit her wrists and bleed to death. She flinches as she cuts her left wrist, but not enough to cause serious damage just enough to feel the pain. She watches the blood creep out of her arm, and drip into the water. Her mind dulled she picked up her mobile and dialed Chris’s number.
“I was calling you. Why did you not answer?”
“Chris I feel I am losing my mind. I think all I want to do is die.”
“Well, I called you earlier, and it did not suit you to answer, right now I can’t talk, I am busy. I’ll call to you later.”
He hung up. She cut into her body again, but on her calf this time. As the cut bleeds, she imagines all the bad being drained from her.