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Eventide Love this is my story. In a speech at Wheaton College, Massachusetts, Carl Sagan spoke of how we humans share 99.6% of our active genes with chimpanzees. He described male chimps as aggressive and female chimps as non-aggressive. When under stress or threatened, male chimps become angry, pick up stones and hold them in their palms to hurl at the target. Female chimps, he tells us, walks up to the angry males, pry open their fingers, removes the stones, and drop them on the ground. I tried to take the stones from his hands; I tried talking, texting, writing, believing, settling, begging, tears and anger. I always tried to be the peacemaker, to give him what he wanted while attempting to maintain some dignity. That was unacceptable to him; he wanted to control the terms completely. His terms harmed me. It carried on. Every time I tried to kill the flame, he would always reignite it. My instinct for survival made me realize that unless he was crushed completely the flame would never go out. #eventide_love ; : : #psychologicalthriller #psychological #thriller #thrillers #amwriting #mystory #myblog #emotionalabuse #hitchcock #davidlynch #blogtobook #writingblog
When words have lost their meaning @outlines_arturo : : : : #sothebys #sothebyshongkong #eventide_love #amwriting #mystory #emotionalabuse #livewithart #artandlife #psychologicalthriller #davidlynch #hitchcock #alfredhitchcock
My #eventide_love. “Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh! Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh! Caught in a bad romance.” Link in profile. : : : #amwriting #mystory #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller #thrillerbooks #ladygaga #quoted #blogto #book #ireland🍀
“Cause I am your lady And you are my man Whenever you reach for me I'll do all that I can We're heading for something Somewhere I've never been Sometimes I am frightened But I'm ready to learn The power of love” #poweroflove #eventide_love #psychologicalthriller link in profile Blog to Book. : #artwork🎨 #louijover : : : : #amwriting #mystory #emotionalabuse as a #psychological #thriller #psychologicalabuse #hitchcock #davidlynch #mentalabuse #ireland🍀 #writingchallenge #blogto #book #bookclub
My Blog to Book is about completed. It's been hard getting here. I have left behind the person that I once was, I have changed from the person I once knew, I've wasted days and nights on rotten love. I've traded happiness for sad, and trust for paranoia. But I believe as I complete my pilgrimage it will come right again. This is the story of emotional abuse as a psychological thriller. https://eventidepsychologicalthriller.com/2015/02/16/ontheedge-eventide-short-story-5/
"No one will see it. No one will know. And eventually all of the scars will have scars, and that's all I will become --one big scar of his bad love.” My story #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller blog to book. http://bit.ly/Psychothrill : : #psychological #thriller #amwriting #mystory #creativewriter #emotionalrollercoaster #davidlynch #hitchcock #mindgames

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After – Emotional Abuse – Running for Hope

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We need to have faith in our ability to allow ourselves to change for the positive by the experience of narcissist abuse. What other option do we have? To fold? To give up? To cave to the abuse? There is so much faith to be gained in facing down our fears. When we don’t know much about narcissists, or what happened to us, it’s really rather terrifying. Once we arm ourselves with knowledge, while they certainly remain to be very dangerous people, they lose their ability to have power over us and the knowledge helps us to understand the nature of the abuse and recovery. It’s gives us the power to face down the abuse. It is facing down that abuse that will give us the faith and hope we are striving for. It is this faith that will give us the hope to believe that we can transform and address anything within ourselves that left us so wide open to this type of abuse. Our hope will is the renewal of our minds.

Our hope comes the little things that we start to do slowly but surely;  taking the dog for a walk, going grocery shopping, answering the phone, seeing the rainbow in the storm, a peaceful walk, hearing the words, smelling the coffee…..  is a day of hope.

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Once we run for our lives, there’s a prolonged grieving process that every narcissist victim goes through, whereby we are completely depressed, loss of faith and devoid of hope.  The relationship is over so we now have the opportunity to experience peace and health, but the weight of our emotions erodes us, demanding they be felt.  It’s not surprising how difficult it is to feel any hope, while it feels that we’re literally dying from the pain of emotional abuse. Our lives are upended, we’re being smeared and targeted by the narcissist and are often times waging some sort of financial, or judicial battle as a result of our having been involved with someone who thrives on power and destruction.

Just as we were running at our lowest emotional capacity, we had to come face to face with realities that are downright terrifying. It’s a struggle to endure the ugly realities like how unsafe the world feels with narcissism in it or realizing how very little the narcissist cared for us or how aggressively they meant to harm us.  We are discovering that someone we trusted to keep us safe and have our best interests at heart, who claimed to be our soul mate, were actually putting us at risk and purposefully harming us. We realize that words were purposefully spoken or withheld to manipulate and control us. We find out about the lies, the games, their motives and just how deeply their lack of empathy challenged our frames of reference for what is “right” and “fair.” We witnessed the lowest form of humanity; we not only ‘witnessed’ it, we LIVED with it, we slept with it, we were close to it, we gave our soul to it.

The recovery process by all accounts takes anywhere between two and three years. And I am certainly finding that to be the case. During the recovery process I am finding that the learning journey about this type of abuse and why I was so vulnerable to it is an integral part of my rehabilitation.  Sharing the information, turning a negative into a positive, bringing this abuse into the open, attempting to break the stigma with my writing is what endures me and is my hope. You will start see flickers of hope; hold onto it as best you can as it will empower your rehabilitation.

The narcissist may have been toxic and damaging to our lives for the time they were in it, and for a the tough period of grieving afterwards. However, there does come a time in every *victims mind, where we no longer allow the abuse to inform our life.   We take the negative hand we were dealt and play it like a champion for our betterment. As our hope returns, the narcissist loses the power they once had over us. We are forever a *victim; but now we are, forever rehabilitated; forever free; forever hopeful.


*The dictionary definition of “victim” is: One who is harmed by, or made to suffer from an act, circumstance, agency or condition; a person who is tricked swindled or taken advantage of.

Blog inspired by,

Hope after Narcissist Abuse.

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