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I am obsessing over my book draft. To paraphrase a quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald; “I feel like I am swimming under water and holding my breath.” I read and read it but I can’t let it go as finished. #eventide_love : : : : #amwriting #emotionalabuse as #psychologicalthriller #mystory #writingchallenge #gaslighting #hitchcock #davidlynch #creativewritings #blogto #bookshelves #bookquotes #myblog #truestory💯 #lovindublin
‘Dark Star crashes, pouring its light into ashes… Mirror shatters in formless reflections of matter… Shall we go, you and I while we can… Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds…. ‘ : : Eventide Love is my story of emotional abuse as a psychological thriller. : The protagonist relies on mental resources rather than physical strength to overcome his victim. The conflict is played out through mind games, deception, and manipulation, with sustained attempts to demolish the victim’s mental equilibrium. #eventide_love @ptsouros : : #psychologicalabuse #psychologicalthriller #emotionalabuse #blogto #book #mystory #creativewriting #safeireland #amwriting #gaslightingawareness #hitchcock #davidlynch
“At that very first kiss I felt something melt inside me that hurt in an ethereal way. All my longings, all my dreams and sweet anguish, all the secrets that slept deep within my soul came awake. I felt the narcotic sensuality of Maryvn Gaye’s lyrics playing inside my heart in perfect harmony with life.” #eventide_love #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller : : #amwriting #mystory #psychologicalabuse #creativewriting #hitchcock #davidlynch #relationshipsgoals #badlove #marvyngaye #myquote #publishing #metoo #metoomovement #womenempowerment #ireland🍀
Emotional Abuse as a Psychological Thriller. Link in Bio: : There were many shades in the danger of adventures and gales, most of which were exhilarating and golden. It is only now and then that there appears on the face of facts a sinister violence of intention- that indefinable something which forces it upon the mind and the heart. It is this complication of incidents, or these elemental furies coming at me with a purpose of malice, with a strength beyond control, with an unbridled cruelty. And this means it tears out my hope and passion. MY pain of fatigue and longing for rest targets destruction, annihilates all I can see, known, loved, enjoyed, or hated; all that is priceless and necessary- the sunshine, the memories, the future. My precious world as I knew it sweeps utterly away from my sight, further and further as each day goes by, it’s simply an appalling act of losing my life.” #eventide_love : :: #emotionalabuse as a #psychologicalthriller #artwork🎨 @darren_crowley : : #amwriting #mystory #psychologicalthriller #hitchcock #publishing #psychological #womensaid #lovindublin #blogtobook #lifeblogger #davidlynch #reesewitherspoonbookclub #womenempowerment #emotionalrollercoaster
“As my life unraveled from my relationship with Paul, I wanted people to see the abuse, to believe it, to have faith in me. And more than that, I wanted them to know me. Not the stuff they thought they knew about me. No, the real me. I wanted them to get past the rumors, to see beyond the exposer of the relationship. I needed them to understand the devastation, to cushion the fall without preconception. What I didn't know at that stage is that when Paul messed with my life, he was not messing with one part of my life, he was messing with my entire life. Every thread of my life.” #eventide_love : Emotional Abuse as a Psychological Thriller. #artwork🎨 Flora Borsi : : : #emotionalabuse #psychologicalthriller #mystory #creativewriting #writinginspiration #davidlynch #hitchcock #publishing #bookpublishing #psychological #psychologicalabuse #lovindublin #womensaid #womenempowerment
Eventide Love this is my story. In a speech at Wheaton College, Massachusetts, Carl Sagan spoke of how we humans share 99.6% of our active genes with chimpanzees. He described male chimps as aggressive and female chimps as non-aggressive. When under stress or threatened, male chimps become angry, pick up stones and hold them in their palms to hurl at the target. Female chimps, he tells us, walks up to the angry males, pry open their fingers, removes the stones, and drop them on the ground. I tried to take the stones from his hands; I tried talking, texting, writing, believing, settling, begging, tears and anger. I always tried to be the peacemaker, to give him what he wanted while attempting to maintain some dignity. That was unacceptable to him; he wanted to control the terms completely. His terms harmed me. It carried on. Every time I tried to kill the flame, he would always reignite it. My instinct for survival made me realize that unless he was crushed completely the flame would never go out. #eventide_love ; : : #psychologicalthriller #psychological #thriller #thrillers #amwriting #mystory #myblog #emotionalabuse #hitchcock #davidlynch #blogtobook #writingblog

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After – Emotional Abuse – Running for Hope

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We need to have faith in our ability to allow ourselves to change for the positive by the experience of narcissist abuse. What other option do we have? To fold? To give up? To cave to the abuse? There is so much faith to be gained in facing down our fears. When we don’t know much about narcissists, or what happened to us, it’s really rather terrifying. Once we arm ourselves with knowledge, while they certainly remain to be very dangerous people, they lose their ability to have power over us and the knowledge helps us to understand the nature of the abuse and recovery. It’s gives us the power to face down the abuse. It is facing down that abuse that will give us the faith and hope we are striving for. It is this faith that will give us the hope to believe that we can transform and address anything within ourselves that left us so wide open to this type of abuse. Our hope will is the renewal of our minds.

Our hope comes the little things that we start to do slowly but surely;  taking the dog for a walk, going grocery shopping, answering the phone, seeing the rainbow in the storm, a peaceful walk, hearing the words, smelling the coffee…..  is a day of hope.

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Once we run for our lives, there’s a prolonged grieving process that every narcissist victim goes through, whereby we are completely depressed, loss of faith and devoid of hope.  The relationship is over so we now have the opportunity to experience peace and health, but the weight of our emotions erodes us, demanding they be felt.  It’s not surprising how difficult it is to feel any hope, while it feels that we’re literally dying from the pain of emotional abuse. Our lives are upended, we’re being smeared and targeted by the narcissist and are often times waging some sort of financial, or judicial battle as a result of our having been involved with someone who thrives on power and destruction.

Just as we were running at our lowest emotional capacity, we had to come face to face with realities that are downright terrifying. It’s a struggle to endure the ugly realities like how unsafe the world feels with narcissism in it or realizing how very little the narcissist cared for us or how aggressively they meant to harm us.  We are discovering that someone we trusted to keep us safe and have our best interests at heart, who claimed to be our soul mate, were actually putting us at risk and purposefully harming us. We realize that words were purposefully spoken or withheld to manipulate and control us. We find out about the lies, the games, their motives and just how deeply their lack of empathy challenged our frames of reference for what is “right” and “fair.” We witnessed the lowest form of humanity; we not only ‘witnessed’ it, we LIVED with it, we slept with it, we were close to it, we gave our soul to it.

The recovery process by all accounts takes anywhere between two and three years. And I am certainly finding that to be the case. During the recovery process I am finding that the learning journey about this type of abuse and why I was so vulnerable to it is an integral part of my rehabilitation.  Sharing the information, turning a negative into a positive, bringing this abuse into the open, attempting to break the stigma with my writing is what endures me and is my hope. You will start see flickers of hope; hold onto it as best you can as it will empower your rehabilitation.

The narcissist may have been toxic and damaging to our lives for the time they were in it, and for a the tough period of grieving afterwards. However, there does come a time in every *victims mind, where we no longer allow the abuse to inform our life.   We take the negative hand we were dealt and play it like a champion for our betterment. As our hope returns, the narcissist loses the power they once had over us. We are forever a *victim; but now we are, forever rehabilitated; forever free; forever hopeful.


*The dictionary definition of “victim” is: One who is harmed by, or made to suffer from an act, circumstance, agency or condition; a person who is tricked swindled or taken advantage of.

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Hope after Narcissist Abuse.

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